More Than Entertainment: How Animation Help Parents and Kids Talk About Death

You are curled up on the couch for a family movie night, the popcorn is turning cold, and suddenly, something very common happens on screen. A beloved character dies. As characters on screen begin to grieve in different ways, you might sneak a quick glance down at your child. Are they confused? Are they sad? Should you turn the movie off, or use this as a moment to talk?

Many of us instinctively want to protect young children from the reality of loss. Parents often assume their children are too young to understand, and might quickly change the subject to keep things light. But children actually encounter the concept of death early and often through their daily experiences. It turns out that understanding death is not just one big, heavy concept for a child. Instead, it is like a puzzle made of different pieces. To make sense of it, kids have to balance distinct perspectives: the biological facts, the spiritual ideas, and the emotional side of things.

What do children know about death?

To understand the biological side of death, children have to grasp a few different ideas. They need to know that death is permanent and can’t be reversed; that the body completely stops working (for example, they don’t breathe or feel hungry anymore); that there are physical causes of death like old age or severe illness; and that all living things eventually die. When we looked at how kids handle these ideas, we found that even 4-year-old already have some understanding of what death means. Between the ages of 4 and 6, children continue to develop these ideas, showing a much more biologically accurate understanding of death by the time they turn 6.

The spiritual aspect involves afterlife beliefs. For some families, this includes religious information, while for families who aren’t religious, it often centers around memories after death. In our study, spiritual answers were quite low for both the 4 and 6-year-old. The emotional side of death, on the other hand, was very present. Even the 4-year-old knew that sadness is exactly how someone feels when they lose a loved one.

What do parents know about their children’s understanding of death?

There is another side to this equation: the parents. How accurately can an adult see inside a 4-to-6-year-old’s worldview? We asked parents to predict exactly how their own children would answer our questions about death. The short answer is that parents tend to give their kids a bit too much credit. We found that parents consistently overestimate their children’s actual understanding of death. Across the board, parents believed their kids had a better understanding of death than the children actually demonstrated in our interviews. It’s a very natural parental instinct; they assume their children are picking up on our adult understanding of the world faster than they actually are, simply because they are experiencing it alongside us.

How can animation be a tool for family conversations?

This brings us to the final aspect: animation. Animated films are a fantastic catalyst for bringing up big topics, but what happens when the topic is the death of a character? We invited families to watch a short animated film together that featured a character’s death, and we observed their conversations afterward. While most families (87%) explicitly mentioned death during their conversation, we discovered that these discussions were brief and mostly scratched the surface. In fact, only about 20% of the actual back-and-forth conversation was directly related to the concept of death. Instead, the vast majority of the time was spent talking about non-death topics.

When families did talk about death, most of them (78%) stuck to just stating what happened on screen (like pointing out that a character died) rather than diving into what that death actually meant. When families did lean into the topic, they showed a huge preference for talking about emotions. More than 70% of families focused on the emotional side of death, compared to just 36% who brought up biological facts and 23% who mentioned spiritual ideas. However, even these emotional talks stayed at a safe distance. Rather than exploring the child’s own feelings about loss in the film or connecting with their personal experiences, the families focused mostly on the character’s feelings.

Moving Beyond the Screen

Our study reveals that animations are an incredibly powerful, yet vastly underused tool in the family home. Many parents might still view family movie nights as pure entertainment rather than an opportunity to scaffold a complex life lesson. Why are these conversations so brief? Part of the answer might be because parents consistently overestimate how much their children already know. Because of this, they might assume their kids don’t actually need to have these deep discussions. But they do! Stepping into these moments and having open, accurate conversations about death is profoundly positive for a child’s mental and emotional well-being. Research shows that when children possess a clear, accurate understanding of how death works, they actually experience less fear and anxiety surrounding loss. By shifting our perspective and treating animation as a conversational bridge, we can give our children the clarity they need to navigate the big questions of life with resilience and confidence.

Key Takeaways

Children’s understanding of death: Children already have an understanding of death at age 4, especially when it comes to emotional aspects. By age 6, they develop a much more biologically accurate understanding of how death physically works.
Parents’ predictions: Parents tend to give their kids a bit too much credit. They overestimated their children’s understanding of death, assuming children have a btter understanding of death than they actually do.
Animation as a tool for conversations: While animation can be a fantastic catalyst for bringing up big topics, it is currently an underused tool. Right now, family conversations after a character dies are brief, surface-level, and heavily focused on the screen rather than real-world meaning.